• Jillian Rose

There's No Negativity on the Golf Course

Updated: Aug 19, 2020

Let's discuss my athletic skills:




Gosh, look at these accolades!




Okay, so they're non-existent. My least favorite event in school growing up was gym class. It was elementary school's version of childhood anxiety. If I was lucky, I was picked second to last. My eye-hand coordination is nothing short of cringe-worthy. When a ball is thrown to me, I don't go to catch it. I duck. I avoid the flying object at all costs. My dad tried to get me tennis lessons around age 8. I disappointed him sorely as the tennis pro explained I should look for other extracurricular activities. Is this a genetic thing? Today even if someone tosses me something simple like a pen or water bottle, my chest tightens and I pray to god I can catch it. This isn't meant to be negative: it's just fact.

However, golf has always intrigued me. Apparently hot men play and it's where all major business decisions are made. As a very single, very new entrepreneur, this is an enticing combination. Unfortunately, the notion of taking up golf has remained on the back-burner for my entire adult life. Plus, golf is a sport. And as I once said when I was at the bar and requested to do a Twisted Tea Bomb, "I don't do sports."

Then this thing called Covid happened where in the midst of social distancing and the world as we know it shutting down, copious amounts of free time opened up. My parents happen to live on a golf course and my best friend had the genius idea... "Why don't you try golf?"

One Saturday, bestie, Dad, and I walked over to the first hole. My goal for the day was to just hit the damn thing (ball).

I succeeded.

Then after three holes, we decided a beer was necessary at my dad's friends, so that was my first round of golf.

Fast forward a few outings later, it's safe to say, I've found my sport after 33 years. My goal each time is to improve one aspect of my 'technique.' Another goal is to pace myself with the drinks so I don't swing like shit after hole 4 since I really get into the drinking aspect of the sport. So far, we're doing well with the improving the swinging each round. As far as pacing myself, let's say I'm still more of a sprinter and less of a marathoner.

I developed a mantra: "No negativity on the golf course."

When I'd swing and completely miss the ball, hit it about 3 feet away, and repeat this sequence several times, my instinctive reaction is negative self-talk. Normally I'd say something to myself such as, "No wonder you were picked last in gym class... clown." Something inside me decided to do something crazy- that is, to try something new.

I said to myself, "Self, you tried. You'll get it next time."

And then, I got it. Last hole of the day and I whacked that ball so hard off the tee the people I was with were even impressed. Adrenaline rushed. Man it felt good to whack the shit out of that little guy!

I don't even get this enthusiastic over dinner dates at bougie restaurants... or what (sometimes) happens after those dinner dates ;)

It's dessert, you pervert.

Do I usually get free lessons from the random dudes my friends and I bamboozle into thinking we're these pro-golfers with our short, pleated white tennis skirts and playing 9 holes with us?


Have I benefited off the golf course from one of these random dudes?

It's a pandemic kids, what the hell else are we supposed to do?

But no matter what happens in the real world, there's no negativity on the golf course.

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